The Dangerous audiobook is available now.

Some of my advisors thought the time and expense to properly record an audiobook wouldn’t provide a solid return. I forwarded them every email I got from fans asking for an audio release. It’s been like children’s letters to Santa, except I’m really thin and Miami is not the North Pole.

The wait is over for the audiobook the year. Fans have been so desperate for this to drop they’ve been following me around with recorders like I’m the Grateful Dead or something.

I consider the DANGEROUS audiobook to be aural sex. Pardon the pun, but after enjoying it in the men’s room at Miami International airport, it’s the best I could come up with.

If I was a social justice warrior, I’d have balked at releasing an audiobook, since it’s ableist against deaf people. Luckily, I’m not, because everyone with hearing wants this book. Maybe we’ll make a braille version if enough deaf fans ask!

I know some fans will be driving across the country to attend my Florida book signing or Berkeley Free Speech Week. Thanks to the DANGEROUS audiobook you’ll have the perfect entertainment for the trip. I promise you won’t get sleepy with boredom!

I’m curious to find out what percentage of listeners immediately start the book over after they complete it. DANGEROUS is compelling in book form, but addictive in audio form.

Do you know how most people hear their voice when recorded and think they sound strange? Well, that’s not me, my voice sounds even more fabulous when recorded especially by my wonderful production team. I wouldn’t be shocked if authors start asking me to record their books for them!

I wouldn’t be surprised if our audio sales match or surpass our book sales. The DANGEROUS audiobook is the way to introduce people in your life to the real Milo, not the big scary monster the fake news media warns them about.

If I had $1 for every email I’ve gotten asking about the release of the DANGEROUS audiobook, I’d be paying cash at the Maybach dealership. I’m incredibly pleased to fulfill what has been easily the number one request made by fans since my book published.

The only thing I regret is that physical releases aren’t really a thing anymore for audiobooks. I want one of those fat CD cases that holds multiple disks and has a nice picture book of me inside it. Oh well, thousands of people are downloading my audio book this very second, so I guess I’ll live.

I’ve been asked to make foreign versions of the audiobook, so I’m thinking about just screaming the English text into the mic with various thick accents. Do you think that will be good enough?

One day, the audiobook of DANGEROUS will be played instead of the call to prayers from every minaret in Europe. Until that day, I will keep fighting with unrelenting humor and truth.